In one of our recent posts, “You Need a Therapist,” Matt Hall described how we first connected with financial therapist Marilyn Wechter, MSW, and how much we’ve enjoyed collaborating with her ever since. This month, we thought it would be fun to share some of the ways we’ve been personally inspired by Marilyn. How have we used what we’ve learned from her – here in the office and at home? Read on to find out.

Rick Hill – One key takeaway from Marilyn has been how to share your financial values with your family, especially your children. How you spend your money communicates your values. Also, you can start talking to your children about money when they are very young; just tailor the conversation accordingly. Family meetings are important as well, although any communication is usually better than none. Marilyn once told me she’d conducted more than 1,000 family meetings and not one of them was a failure.

John Reagan – Marilyn has a way of putting things in perspective. For example, she’s helped me better balance my time and energy among the people and projects that are most important to me at work and home. “Live a little” are often good words to live by.

Nell Schiffer – Marilyn taught me that anxiety is contagious, which has been a simple but inspiring idea for me. We know that anxiety feels bad, but knowing that doesn’t always motivate us to let go of it. Realizing that our own anxiety can infect others is a powerful force for change, plus it reduces your own stress.

Buddy Reisinger – The most important thing I’ve learned from Marilyn is how to listen to others at a level I didn’t know I could. It’s still a work in progress, especially at home! But deeper listening has helped me better appreciate where others are coming from, why they feel the way they do, how they got where they are today, and where they’d like to go next. I’ve gotten better at stopping myself from interjecting before the other person has finished their thoughts.

Matt Hall – We all hold a mirror up to others. Am I intentional about what I am reflecting back? That’s my favorite lesson from Marilyn. She uses the example of a child learning to walk. If I hold out encouraging arms, a toddler will often smile and keep walking. If I project fear or doubt, most will sit down. The analogy holds true in our adult relationships too. I always try to remember that as I spend time with the important people in my life.

Before you do business with an advisor or fund manager, it can be telling to ask this powerful question: How do you invest your money? At Hill Investment Group, we believe in our approach to the core. We take for granted that our stance is rare in financial services, where most advisors invest one way for themselves and another for their clients.

Why don’t they eat their own cooking? Their precise portfolio allocations might vary based on individual goals and risk tolerances. But if your advisor is not investing the bulk of their personal assets according to the same strategy and within the same investments they’ve recommended to you … why not?

At Hill Investment Group, our own money makes up about 11 percent of the total assets we manage as a firm; and we use the same fund families, portfolio builds, and evidence-based investment approach we recommend to our clients. When we’re advising a client to stay the course during a down market or to avoid chasing a hot trend, we’re doing the same thing with our personal assets. We feel the same fluctuations, and stay the same course toward the same expected returns. Alignment in this way feels right to us.

While the more familiar expression, “no pain, no gain,” may apply to many parts of life (such as my first half-marathon), sometimes pain is just pain, with no gain in sight. When that’s the case, shouldn’t you do something to avoid it?

That’s the point of a recent video produced by our friends at Dimensional Fund Advisors, “Tuning out the noise.” The first minute is admittedly stressful; it evokes the angst many investors feel when they try to navigate nerve-wracking markets on their own. Bear with it though, because you have much to gain from the video’s message: By showing investors how to Take the Long View® with their investments, our aim is to help people tune out the pointless pain, look past the daily fray, and get on with investing toward their lifetime goals.

Check out the video for yourself. Or, if you prefer to read rather than watch, here’s an article Dimensional produced along the same theme. Last but not least, if you could use some rational advice to cut through the clamor, we’re here to listen.